


Your Friends Are All Weirdoes, Fozzie

by viciouswishes



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-05
Updated: 2007-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:22:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3118316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciouswishes/pseuds/viciouswishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holiday parties are good for morale or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Friends Are All Weirdoes, Fozzie

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: Post-"Return Pt. 2"

Kate looks on as a huge Christmas tree is hoisted up by a few Marines and a supervising Parrish. A holiday party to boost morale. Most of the soldiers and scientists either don't have family or don't care to visit them; none of them would probably be here if they did. Kate herself doesn't have anyone left – her parents dying in a car wreck when she was very young and the aunt that raised her passing away two years before Kate heard the word "Stargate" – and the holidays always make her lonely. 

Kate watches as a grinning Laura Cadman climbs a ladder and places a star on top of the tree. The holiday spirit's either infectious or someone's already gotten into Zelenka's still. 

"It is beautiful," Teyla says, stopping next to Kate on the balcony. 

"Yes." Kate's always glad for Teyla's company. There's something about the calm, yet firm presence Teyla radiates. "Are you going to attend the holiday party?" 

"I would not miss it, especially after last year." Last year, a drunken Rodney decided that he missed snowy Christmases and attempted to rig a snow machine. All that came out of it was slush, which his entire department took advantage of by throwing it at him. "Kate," Teyla says, "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. I am- I am worried about Ronon. He has not been the same since his experiences returning to his homeworld." 

"That was quite a while ago." It had been months ago when Ronon brushed Kate's help away, saying that he'd already dealt with his problems. "I tried speaking to him afterwards-" 

"We all did. But he has become more reckless, quicker to draw a weapon or start a fight. I tried speaking to him, but he refused. Even John tried." 

Kate nods. She can't imagine Sheppard sitting down and talking about his feelings. He's visited her office many times and, most days, lies through his teeth. Sheppard tells her stories, things he's read in books or heard in songs. Problems he just makes up so he doesn't have to tell the truth. They both know it. "I'll speak to Elizabeth and see about him getting a regular appointment with me every week. That way, he'll be able to easy into it." 

Teyla touches her arm. "Thank you." 

Kate turns away from the holiday decorating and heads to Elizabeth's office. 

***** 

Ronon twirls his knife. "Explain it to me again?" 

Sheppard slumps his shoulder and picks at the excuse for meatloaf that they're serving in the mess. "You go to Heightmeyer's office, tell her your feelings, and she tells you what's wrong with you." 

"There's something wrong with me?" 

Sheppard watches the knife and thinks that no one should ever give Ronon knives. Unless they're battling the Wraith. "There's nothing wrong with you." He shakes more pepper onto his food. "It's just a good idea. You know, to talk to someone." 

"I have plenty of people to talk to. There's you and Teyla and McKay." 

"I know." John frowns. "But what if you want to talk about me? You can't talk about me with me. That'd defeat the point." 

"Why would I want to talk about you?" Ronon stabs his knife into his potato. 

"I don't know." John really doesn't know. In fact, he has no clue what Ronon would say beyond how many Wraith he's killed or asking what's for dinner. Ronon also likes to do that thing where he sneaks up behind Weir and scares her. Though, sometimes Sheppard thinks that it turns her on, then immediately thinks that he'd rather not think about that. Sheppard breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Rodney walking towards them. 

"Don't blame me if your jumpers aren't working," Rodney says as he sits down. "Radek's been spending more time making booze for Elizabeth's party than doing his actual job. Seriously, the only thing I like about this holiday is the availability of eggnog and alcohol to go into it. That and I'm glad I never have to ask my arguing parents for an Erector set ever again." 

Ronon chuckles. "Erector set?" 

Rodney waves his hand dismissively. "Not that. A kind of toy." 

Sheppard almost chokes on his glass of milk. 

"Great, I'm sitting with two twelve-years-olds." Rodney rolls his eyes. "I suppose we could beat something with a stick and skin it instead. Would that be more festive?" 

***** 

Kate clears her throat. "This is your time, Ronon. We can chat about anything you'd like." 

"Anything?" Ronon sprawls out on her couch, positioned like a porn star, and Kate averts her eyes to the windows. 

"Anything," Kate assures him. "You don't have to worry. Whatever you say in here is confidential." She smiles and holds her clipboard just a little tighter. "Your teammates were worried about you since your experiences on Sadeta." 

Ronon sighs and leans forward. "It's not what you think. I can't change the past. My people are gone and I get that." 

Kate nods. She's a little surprised that Ronon's so open and that he's well adjusted to the idea that his people have been utterly destroyed by the Wraith. Kate considers giving him an IQ test, but perhaps she'll leave that for another day. 

"Do you ever miss Earth?" Ronon asks. 

"Some days." Kate pauses, waiting for him to continue, but instead Ronon tips his head down. "I miss my friends. I miss going to the Saturday market and buying fresh flowers. What do you miss about Sadeta, Ronon?" 

"Holidays." Ronon moves back onto the couch. "Your holidays remind me of the Koshkef celebration. There's drinking, lights, and singing. On your 30th year, there's a cleansing ritual you take part in." 

"Sounds very spiritual." 

"It is." 

"You're almost 30, aren't you?" 

"Yes." 

***** 

"So this ritual," Sheppard says, "is it anything that I can help you with?" He and Ronon step into the transporter together. 

"It's something I have to do alone." Ronon stands tall and still as the Ancient device takes them to the science labs. Sheppard really hates when Ronon towers over him. Seriously, the guy's not that much taller than him, but he always feels like a midget. 

Sheppard's not in a very good mood anyway considering that Weir grounded their team until Ronon completes his ritual. 

"When I was with Dr. Heightmeyer..." 

"Uh huh." Sheppard really dreads this. He likes Ronon because they both talk on guy level. They run together, fight together, shoot things together, and watch sports together. Sheppard can only deal with one feelings person on his team and he already has Rodney. He doesn't mind talks with Teyla as much because he always feels like he's talking to one of those Fortune Teller arcade machines. 

"This is absolutely unacceptable, Radek!" They hear Rodney yelling from the lab. "It's bad enough that you're spending your time distilling instead of making sure that the city has power. Look at the drain from Cadman's Christmas lights. And no, I don't care if Elizabeth thinks that we should embrace cultural diversity-" 

"A Festivus for the rest of us." Zelenka holds onto an aluminum pole in the middle of the lab. "Not all of us worship your Santa Claus or rampant American capitalism." 

"Not American." Rodney points to the Canadian flag stitched onto his jacket. "So you can take your pole and shove it up your-" 

"Knock it off, McKay," Sheppard says, surprising mostly himself. Zelenka is, after all, celebrating a holiday from a TV show. A show that Sheppard really doesn't like very much, but Weir had said to let everyone celebrate in their own way. "Why don't put up your pole by the Christmas tree?" 

Zelenka mutters under his breath in Czech, though Sheppard swears that he hears Rodney's name in the mix. "Fine." He turns toward McKay. "I'll see you at the Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength." 

"I can so kick your ass," Rodney shouts as Zelenka takes off with his unadorned pole. "What do you two want?" 

"Figgy pudding?" Sheppard suggests. "Actually, lunch. I heard a crazy rumor, there might be pizza." 

"Pizza?" Rodney's face lights up and then he frowns. "Not the fake tomato paste crap with goat cheese again." 

Sheppard shakes his head. He's seen the ingredients list from the Dedalus' supply drop. Just one privilege of being the military commander. "Real cheese and real tomatoes from Earth." 

"What are we waiting for?" Rodney bolts toward the door, closing his laptop along the way. Sheppard doesn't think Rodney's moved this fast without a gun pointed at him. Or an arrow. He really wishes that he could've spent more time mocking Rodney's arrow to the ass. 

"This is heaven," Rodney declares when they make it to the mess. 

Ronon grabs three slices and takes a bit of one before they've gotten drinks. "This is good," he says with a mouth full. 

"Of course, it's good. It's pizza." Sheppard fills his water glass and wishes really hard for beer. Cold beer would be an actual holiday miracle. 

Mostly, they eat in silence. Sheppard checks out the new woman in archeology. She's tall, but not Ronon tall, has long, brown hair, a good laugh, and legs that go all way up to- 

"Psychology's the study of the mind, right?" Ronon asks. He's finished off his fourth piece of pepperoni, and the kitchen staff's informed him that other people would like to eat and would he like a salad. 

"Yes. Yes." Rodney continues to type on his laptop. "Mostly, it's all bullshit and witchcraft." 

"Witchcraft?" 

"I'm surprised Heightmeyer doesn't cleanse you with incense when you enter her doorway." 

Sheppard rolls his eyes. "Heightmeyer's a trained doctor. She's a professional." He smiles at the brunette as she leaves her table. "I thought you liked Heightmeyer?" 

"I do. Even if her red hair bothers me." Ronon finishes off the last of his water. "Sometimes," he lowers his voice, "I think she's reading my mind." 

Rodney snorts, and Sheppard can already hear his smart remark. Instead, Sheppard cuts in, "She's a brain doctor. It's her job to figure out what's going on in your head and then make suggestions based on that in order to make your life better." 

***** 

Kate joins Teyla's mediation class for the winter solstice. She's never been spiritual herself, but she does believe in clarity of thought and the power of the mind. Kate also enjoys the excuse to wear sweatpants, sneakers, and a baggy t-shirt on a day she'd prefer to be curled up in bed. She pops another Midol and tries not to think of her cramps. 

Mediate. Teyla's even lit some candles. Kate gazes into the flame when she realizes that if she closes her eyes, she just might fall asleep. 

Teyla starts to chant in her native tongue and urges the others to join in. "It is a prayer to the Ancestors thanking them for allowing us to make it this far into the winter." 

Kate misses the snow again and thinks of herself as a young child, leaping into the snow and making snow angels with her arms. They could never be quite perfect enough. Her footprints always marred them. 

When the session's ended, Kate blows out the candle in front of her and hands it back to Teyla. 

"I am glad you decided to come," Teyla says. She's collecting her things in a large bag. 

"Me too." And Kate realizes that maybe she's been too hard on the idea of spirituality around the holidays. She's encouraged everyone else to join in the festivities, but hasn't allowed herself. "Do you need help with that?" Kate asks, offering to pick up Teyla's other bag. 

"I have it." Teyla hefts it over her shoulder. "Perhaps you would like to join me for the cleansing celebration. My people go through our belongings at this time, purge ourselves of what we do not need, and give what is still useable to our neighbors." 

Kate thinks of the few pairs of pants that no longer fit her and the excess bath products given to her for her birthday by people who felt obligated, but don't really know her. "I'd like that. But first, I have an appointment." 

"I understand." 

Kate hums "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" as she heads to her office to meet Ronon. 

***** 

One of the reasons why Sheppard likes Lorne so much is because the man is not afraid of paperwork and is possibly a thousand times more efficient at it than Sheppard himself. Sheppard procrastinates filling out his mission reports or looking over changes in the military schedules. But not Lorne, he's on top of it and remembers his soldiers' birthdates. 

When they meet to discuss the coming week's shifts and mission schedules, Sheppard doesn't have to pay that much attention because he trusts Lorne to figure it out. 

"There's one more thing, I'd like to discuss with you, sir," Lorne says toward the end of their meeting. 

Sheppard nods and takes a sip of his eggnog. It could use a little more nutmeg. 

"I'd like to request to take the night off on Saturday." 

"I don't see a problem with that. Cadman can fill in for you." Sheppard marks it off with a pen. "Date?" 

"No, sir, Friday's the first day of Hanukkah." 

"Oh." Sheppard's a little surprised. Lorne hasn't ever mentioned following a religion before. Sheppard's always associated anyone in the military as nominally Christian. Even Sheppard will answer Christian to a religious question, if pressed, despite not having set foot in a church since his mother's funeral, almost 10 years ago. "Cool. How long have you been Jewish?" 

"Born and raised," Lorne says. "A few of us are having a get together. Chaplain Moreno thinks we should be more active on base, especially with all the holiday celebrations going on." 

"Well, Happy Hanukkah." 

"Thank you, sir." 

As Lorne leaves his office, Sheppard considers religion and its role on Atlantis. Maybe he'll suggest to Weir that Chaplain Moreno should start attending more of their staff meetings. He smiles at the thought of Moreno choking Rodney, Ronon's endless series of questions, and Teyla's mumbo-jumbo and decides that maybe it's a bad idea. He thinks about religion again and shrugs. 

***** 

Kate hates flying, hates leaving the ground. She knows it's silly and that the puddle jumpers are one of the safest transports she could ask for. Not to mention that she lives on a floating city designed for space travel. 

She feels a little more at ease when she sees the mainland out the jumper's main window. When her eyes meet Teyla's, Kate's glad that she agree to spend the rest of the solstice celebrating on the mainland. 

"Thank you for taking us here, John," Teyla says. "I wish that you, Rodney, and Ronon had the time to join us." 

"Me too. I never turn down a good party." Sheppard smiles at them as he lands the jumper. "However, I don't know what's up with Ronon not coming. As much as I enjoy watching him beat a couple of the Marines' heads together, it's not like he has actual work." 

"He seemed uncomfortable with the nature of the ceremony." Teyla stiffens as Sheppard opens the jumper's door. "He is probably missing his people this time of year." 

"Yeah, probably." 

"Thank you, Colonel," Kate says as she and Teyla leave the jumper and head toward the Athosian settlement. She hasn't had the opportunity or the want to visit the mainland more than a handful of times, but there's a certain comfort in that the Athosians came back after the Ancients kicked everyone out. Almost hopeful to see them once again occupying their wooden houses and large tents. 

A large group greets them, enthusiastic to see Teyla. They touch each other on their foreheads in greeting and Kate follows en suite. She admires the Athosians and their tight-knit community. The Atlanteans could lean from them, especially how to relax and appreciate life. And the cooking. 

Kate swears that the cranberries taste just like her aunt's. The meat isn't bad either, and Kate thinks that she prefers it to the turkey that she knows they'll be making sandwiches out of a month in mess. 

Halling's telling a story. "An Athosian fairy tale," Teyla says and smiles as he chides her for interrupting her. The stories of a young queen who finds herself lost in the forest. As dusk approaches, she becomes frightened of the noises and then is chased by a wild boar. In the end, it's a village warrior, a girl barely out of her teens, that finds the queen and spears the boar. At least from Halling's description of the beast, Kate believes it to be a boar. 

When Halling finishes, everyone claps and cheers. People start singing and playing an instrument similar to the guitar. She feels Teyla's hand on her shoulder. "Come dance," Teyla says and pulls her toward the circle around the bonfire. 

Kate's clumsy on her feet, but since there doesn't seem to be a pattern to the dance, she feels free to improvise. She grins when Parrish steals her hand and spins her around, right into Teyla. Teyla clutches Kate's shoulders to steady herself and they laugh together. 

The fire's warm and steady on Kate's face. "Thank you for inviting me," she says to Teyla as they dance together. 

"You are most welcome." Teyla moves them toward the makeshift bar. "Would you like something to drink? Helena makes the most wonderful ale." 

The beer tastes woodsy and is almost too cold for the chilly night. Kate wishes that she would've brought a few packets of hot chocolate. 

"You enjoying yourself?" Halling asks her. 

"Yes. I haven't had this much fun in a long time." Kate sips her drink. "You're a wonderful storyteller. Any more stories tonight?" 

"Only when we decide that the children need to fall asleep." Halling fills his own glass again. "Though they did grow fond of Colonel Sheppard's stories more than mine. It is a shame that he could not attend." 

Kate nods. She knows how important it is for the Athosians that Atlanteans show up at their holidays, especially high ranking ones. "They only like his stories because they're new and different. Trust me, Tau'ri children would rather watch the movies." 

"Do you have any children, Kate?" 

"Nope. My job affords little time to think about children. Plus, the Pegasus Galaxy isn't the place the raise them." Kate starts to blush when she realizes the blunder she's made. 

"Our children have known nothing else." 

"I didn't mean to insult you," Kate says. "It's just when given a choice... I doubt very much that if I decided to have a child that I would be allowed to keep my job." 

Halling raises his hand. "It is alright." He looks over at the children playing a game of kickball with a soccer ball Kavanagh brought them. "I wish the best for my children as well. For a long time, we were unsure if your people had children or if you were sent to Atlantis because you couldn't bear future generations." 

Kate shakes her head. "Thankfully, there's enough people on Earth - too many, some might argue - that we can choose whether or not to have children." 

"Athosians are expected to have several children. It is frowned upon to not have any or to wait too long before seeking a partner." Halling turns his attention toward Teyla, who'd come over for a refill. "Enjoying yourself, Teyla?" 

"Greatly." 

"Do you think you will last until the morning light comes?" 

"Depends on how many times you fill my cup, Halling." 

Kate's unsure whether she'll last until dawn. It's hardly past midnight and she's already moving a little slower than before. But they continue to dance and drink. Kate's amazed at just how she finds energy in being around people. She even helps carry some of the youngest children to their beds when they fall asleep near the fire. 

"Look," Teyla says, pointing toward the horizon. They're huddled together under a blanket. "The light is arriving." 

Everyone starts banging on what Kate's sure are pots and pans. She rings her own bell, greeting the light. A few of the children poke their heads from tents, sleep in their eyes. Everyone is hugging and bidding each other good morning. Kate hugs those she knows and those that she doesn't know. She's never been someone comfortable with touch, but the celebration and the drinking has loosened her normal reserve. Kate clasps Teyla's hand as they make their way to the tent for sleep. 

***** 

Sheppard's minding his own business, listening to Johnny Cash and watching porn in his quarters. He's got to give it to the Ancients and their acoustics. No stereo Sheppard's owned has sounded this good. Sadly, the porn sucks as the all-woman threesome just doesn't seem that interested in each other, and Sheppard likes his porn enthusiastic or really, just showing any sign of life at all. 

Mostly, he's just avoiding what seems like a never-ending holiday celebration. Technically, he's supposed to be on duty, but all was quiet after making a few runs down to the mainland. Though he imagines it's still pretty lively in the mess with Zelenka's Festivus party. Sheppard could only stand so much of the scientists' Airing of Grievances against Rodney before he thought that they were just being whiney. Of course, he can always tell Rodney to shut the fuck up. 

Holidays always remind Sheppard of his childhood, and since a lot of it was entirely forgettable, he'd rather not go there. 

"Colonel," his headset rings in his ears, "we have a situation in the mess hall." 

Sheppard imagines that Rodney's finally got around to punching someone. He buttons up his pants and heads out, wondering whose blood's been spilled. 

Turns out that fighting is a Festivus ritual, and despite Miko yelling at them that they'd injure their hands, Zelenka and Rodney are going at it. Both of them are staggering drunk. Sheppard takes a sniff of Zelenka's homebrew and makes a face. It's got to be like 140-proof. Jesus. "Break it up, McKay," Sheppard says as he steps toward them. He'll let them get away with time in the brig because, hey, Weir said to respect everyone's beliefs. 

That is until Sheppard gets an elbow in the face. "Enough." He steps between them with his hand cupped on his jaw. 

"You always think that the world would end and Atlantis would blow up without you," Zelenka shouts. One of Lorne's men, Bamber, is holding Zelenka back. Zelenka's hair is wilder than usual and his face red with anger and adrenaline. "And you will never win a Nobel." 

Sheppard's got his hand against Rodney's chest. "Oh, please, you couldn't tell a photocopy of your ass from a stellar chart," Rodney responds. "In fact, I-" 

Sheppard's fist closes over the fabric of Rodney's shirt. "Knock it off, Rodney." He moves his body just a little bit so Rodney gets the picture that he's not going to win this one. "Why don't we all make a trip to the infirmary? I'm sure the Doc will want to take a look at the gash on your forehead." 

Rodney loosens his stance. "Carson's a sadist and he'll make us get into hospital gowns. I mean, come on, it's a scratch, not major surgery." 

"You're the one with the hospital gown fetish. I thought you would like it, too much," Zelenka says as Bamber manhandles him toward the infirmary. There's no way that Beckett's going to let them go without a physical inspection. Sheppard can only hope that Weir doesn't get the notice. Maybe he'll get Beckett another Scottish calendar or something. 

Sheppard really hates holidays. 

***** 

Kate wakes curled around Teyla. Her nose tingles with the cold and she has to pee, which means she's going to have to brave the outdoors. The sun's fully shining when she makes it out of the tent with her boots on and in her military issue parka. Snow drifted in overnight, and Kate's feet make fresh tracks in it. Thankfully, the Athosians decided to go with having modern restrooms on site. It might still be cold inside, but it's better than squatting in bushes. 

Life's even better when Kate climbs back into bed with Teyla. She presses her face against Teyla's collarbone, head resting against her chest. 

"And here, I thought I was only dreaming of ice," Teyla says. There are hints of sleep in her voice. 

Kate's hand rests on Teyla's hip. "It snowed this morning." 

Teyla reaches up and picks a melting snowflake from Kate's hair. "I noticed." She leans forward and places a kiss on Kate's lips. Her tongue pushes into Kate's mouth. 

Kate wraps her arms around Teyla and pulls her closer, groaning into the kiss. She feels the warm of the sun peeking through a corner of the tent and reflecting on their faces. As Kate starts to undress herself and Teyla, she smells the start of a late breakfast and hears the rumble of Teyla's stomach. "Should we stop and eat first?" Kate asks. 

Teyla shakes her head. "They will be at it for hours. There is always plenty of food. Even the winters we did not have much, there was always plenty for everyone no matter how late we rose from bed." 

"Good." Kate trails kisses down Teyla's stomach. She's eager; it's been way too long since Kate's had sex. She places Teyla's legs over her shoulders and tastes her cunt. 

Teyla's hands tug at Kate's hair and guides Kate's mouth to her clit. She groans and arches her back off the bed. 

Kate starts to hum one of the carols Teyla taught her last night, the one about the sun and new beginnings. She moves one her hands between her own legs and rubs herself. They find a rhythm in their movements, in the vibrations of the song. 

Teyla's incredibly beautiful as she comes as her body clenches, relaxes, and shakes. Her voice carries high, higher than Kate would expect, as she moans. Kate's so amazed watching Teyla that she doesn't feel her own orgasm rise until it's flowing through her body, surprising her. 

When Kate lifts up her head, Teyla places her hands on each other Kate's face, pulls her up, and kisses her. Kate's beginning to see the magic of Winter Solstice. 

***** 

"All through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse," Sheppard mutters as he stands watch in the Gateroom on Christmas Eve. He knows when to count his blessings, and if it stays quiet all night, it just might be the Christmas miracle to convert Sheppard. 

"What was that, sir?" Sergeant Chuck Stiffler asks from his post. Sheppard apparently wasn't the only one with a holiday phobia. 

Sheppard shakes his head. "Nothing." 

Zelenka looks up from the zillionth game of solitaire that Sheppard caught him playing. None of the scientists wanted Christmas Eve watch. It seemed that Festivus struck a celebration cord with them, but Weir decided that this would be Zelenka's punishment for endangering himself and Rodney. "You should be more careful. You don't want karma to bite your ass." 

"Or Weir," Stiffler says. 

Zelenka's rolls his eyes. "Better her than Rodney." 

Stiffler laughs and Sheppard imagines that Stiffler might say something rude back to Zelenka if his superior wasn't standing right there. It's something that Sheppard hates about the job. 

They sit there in silence, listening to the carols that are drifting from the large hall where Chaplain Moreno's leading a non-denomination Christian service. Sheppard's almost curious enough to stand outside the doorway and see just how the guy's pulling it off. Maybe, there are just bigger things in the universe -- like fighting Wraith and Replicators -- than fighting over semantics and doctrines. 

"My mother always made us attend midnight mass," Zelenka says, breaking the silence. "We were very poor then, but we always had new, polished shoes. Most people in the Czech Republic are atheists. State religion. But there is something magical about Christmas Eve." 

"I think we have enough magic in our lives, Doc." Sheppard's hands hovering over his sidearm, wondering when he's going to hear reindeer hoofs on the roof. 

***** 

Kate smoothes her blue dress down and holds up her earrings in the mirror. She brought exactly two formal dresses to Atlantis -- a somber black one best suited for funerals and a sexy, but elegant, one for gatherings. If only she'd thought ahead and brought better jewelry. Maybe the next time she made it to Earth, she'd pick up a few new pieces. Or perhaps Teyla could find her some off-world. 

She still blushes when she thinks about Teyla. They'd spent almost every night since the Athosian celebration together. Kate's pretty sure that many of the people in Atlantis had figured out their relationship. She thinks she overheard Rodney half-asking Teyla, trying to fumble around the word "gay" and then talking about his college roommate. 

At least, Kate has a date for the Christmas party. 

Kate turns when she hears the door open. "Hello," Teyla says. Teyla's wearing a long dress, dark plum in color with a slit up the side. "Are you ready?" 

"Almost." Kate hooks her necklace together and greets Teyla with a kiss. "You look stunning." 

"As do you." 

They meet up with Laura in the hallway. Laura tells them how she made sure that the last supply run was filled with extra makeup for Christmas party. "It isn't very often that we get to be all girly for the night," Laura says as they reach the mess hall. "Now excuse me, I'm going to go shock the pants off one Rodney McKay." 

"That will probably depend on how many drinks Rodney has in his system," Teyla says. 

Kate laughs and grabs a couple glasses of wine for them. "Alcohol is a social tool." They spend some time grazing over the hors d'oeuvres. The chefs really outdid themselves trying to make different food from different parts of the world. Lindsay Biro's picking over the cheese platter and explaining to them which wines they should be drinking with them. Kate thinks she'll stick to her dry red one. 

Under the tree is a large pile of presents. Everyone brought a ton of White Elephant gifts. Kate herself placed a mug with reindeer on it under the tree. Elizabeth has said that they're waiting until after dinner to pass around the gifts. 

"Come," Teyla says, taking Kate's hand and leading her to the table with Sheppard, Rodney, Ronon, and Radek. Kate had tried her best to maintain a professional distance, especially from Rodney and Ronon; but they are Teyla's friends and she hasn't quite been able to explain why she shouldn't be socializing with them. 

Kate smiles tightly and hopes that Teyla is right. "Evening." 

Sheppard clears his throat. "You both look very nice tonight." 

"Just very nice?" Teyla raises an eyebrow as they sit down. She places her cloth napkin on her lap. 

Sheppard looks down at his wine glass. "Some might even say, stunning." 

"Thank you, John." Teyla looks over at Rodney. 

"I'm not falling for that girl crap," Rodney says. "When is the last time that you told me I looked pretty?" 

Ronon slaps him on the shoulder. "You're very pretty." 

Rodney glares at him. "Not you, idiot." He eyes Teyla and Kate suspiciously. "Fine. You two look very lovely, and if you weren't lesbians, I'd be hitting on you." 

"Because that stopped you with Norina," Sheppard mutters. 

"Hey, you weren't looking at her face either," Rodney says. "And I didn't know she was a lesbian until that thing with Elizabeth." 

Kate stares at her hands, thinking that she's not suppose to be here. She doesn't have anything to say to them and she doesn't know their banter. Kate's certainly not interested in tossing insults with Rodney. When she looks up as dinner's being served, she sees Ronon glaring at her. Or at least, she thinks he's glaring at her between his bites of steak. 

"Kate and I were thinking about spending a week on the mainland next month." Teyla smiles at them. "Perhaps finally starting on my cabin. The ground should be thawed by then. We would be honored if you helped out." 

"We'll think about it." Sheppard sighs and turns toward the podium where Elizabeth's starting to speak. 

***** 

Sheppard shakes his head. He really shouldn't have tried to match Ronon on those shots of rum. Spicy holiday drink his ass. He also doesn't think that it's just the alcohol that's making him paranoid. 

Ronon's twirling a throwing knife on the table. He's brooding about something. Ronon kind of looks how he does when they're heading to fighting the Wraith, and that freaks Sheppard the fuck out. 

Maybe Sheppard should call Lorne. But then he remembers seeing him spinning dreidel with a glass of wine in the other hand with Cadman and Rodney who've apparently decided that dreidel is a highly competitive sport. They've even somehow found pocket watches and Zelenka keeps accusing Rodney of cheating. He probably is. 

"I have to do it," Ronon says between gritted teeth. 

Sheppard leans over closer to Ronon and rests his hand on the guy's back. "Do what, buddy?" 

"Ritual." 

Sheppard nods, thinking about the time on PX3-4567 that he had to jump into a freezing cold river naked. And that the village priestess still wanted to fuck him after that... 

"Now." Ronon's running through the crowd before Sheppard stops thinking about the naked priestess. Ronon's charging toward Teyla and Kate. There's more of that Wraith stuff running through Sheppard's head and he's thinking about his sidearm, which he doesn't have, so he takes off after Ronon. 

Ronon grabs Kate, throwing over her over his shoulder. "Witch," he growls or, at least, Sheppard thinks that's what he hears. Later, in his mission report, that's what Sheppard will write. Ronon's turning toward the fire and counting on everyone being taken for complete surprise. 

Teyla's calling out Ronon's and Kate's name. She chucks both her high heels at Ronon's head. 

Sheppard keeps hoping that this is some kind of college frat prank. Reality only hits when he, Teyla, and, oddly enough, Chaplain Moreno tackle Ronon to the ground. Ronon moves under them like one of those wildebeest being killed by lions on the _Discovery Channel_. Teyla's the one who pulls her girlfriend from the wreckage. 

"What the hell is going on here?" Elizabeth says, standing near them. She frowns at Sheppard like he's let his pet pee on the carpet. 

Ronon, being restrained by Sheppard and Moreno, just stands there with his head hung low. "I have failed," he whispers. Even his dread locks look sad. 

Hindsight says that Sheppard shouldn't have drunk so much. Hindsight says that he should've asked Ronon about the ritual and the significance. But Sheppard often lacks foresight and he lacks anything that's not going to immediately save their asses. Overall, he's glad that Kate's still breathing. He just never sees it coming. 

***** 

Two hours later and Kate's still shaking. She still has her arms wrapped firmly around Teyla's waist and is leaning against her. Kate's kicked off her shoes as they sit on a bench in the infirmary. At this point, Carson's worried about shock, not about physical injury. Kate counts all the symptoms of shock in her head; Ronon had tried to sacrifice her. 

"I cannot believe he did this," Teyla says for about the fifteenth time that hour. "Stupid stubborn man." She kisses Kate's cheek. 

Kate knows that if she lets go of Teyla's hand that Ronon might've been beaten to a bloody pulp. They've gone over it again and again what happened, all the miscommunication. She hears it replaying in her mind. 

Ronon saying, "On Sadeta, when a man turns 30, he must make a sacrifice to God for the greater good of the community. I found a witch. Heightmeyer. She has red hair, reads minds, participates in rituals to false gods, and sleeps with women." 

And then there are the accompanying questions of: "But Teyla sleeps with women." (Sheppard); "How did you think this was acceptable?" (Elizabeth, glaring at Sheppard); "Katie Brown's a redhead." (Rodney); "How did you come to believe that psychologists read minds?" (Elizabeth again, glaring at Rodney this time); and "What will you do now?" (Chaplain Moreno). 

Kate's mind spins, and she longs for a cup of tea. She wants a bath, to shed herself of these memories and these clothes. Maybe she and Teyla can burn them. "Take me home," she mutters. 

"As you wish." Teyla helps Kate from their seat. "Carson, Kate and I are going back to her quarters. If you need us, you know where to find us." 

Kate knows that this is the point where Carson suggests to his patient to see a psychologist. But who's going to counsel the psychologist? Kate images that Teyla would have a few thoughts on that. She's pretty sure that she's going to be scheduling that vacation time soon, a long holiday with Teyla on the mainland. 

***** 

Sheppard can't keep Ronon locked up forever, and when Atlantis' second and newest psychologist, Dr. Tseng clears Ronon for returning back to the normal population, Sheppard lets him out. Sure, he's still leery of what Ronon could do and Elizabeth's got their team grounded with heavy-handed suggestions of finding a new permanent team member. 

But at the end of the day, Sheppard likes hanging out with Ronon. They're buddies. Plus, Ronon's really handy with a weapon and can wipe the floor with the majority of the Marines without breaking a sweat. 

Of course, adding to the weirdness, Ronon's taking a vow of silence. Yep, they're eating lunch together -- their first team lunch since the incident -- and Ronon's not talking. Creepy as fuck and making Teyla even more pissed at him. Sheppard has already tried to point out that Ronon's doing some kind of penance. 

"I don't understand why we just can't teach him ASL." Rodney crosses his arms. He's the one who least understands the need to be silence. 

Ronon writes something down and hands it to Sheppard. "He says that it'd be defeating the purpose," Sheppard says. 

Rodney rolls his eyes. "Well, then I agree with Elizabeth and don't think it's safe to take him on missions. What if we're stuck somewhere and the rest of our tongues have been cut out and-" 

"He can still shoot things." Sheppard looks over at Ronon. "You can still shoot things, right, buddy?" 

Ronon nods. 

"See, no problem." 

"I heard that Lt. Cadman is available for our next mission," Teyla says. She's still barely tolerant of Ronon, which Sheppard understands considering he tried to sacrifice her girlfriend to his God. Of course, what they're really all wondering about is the rumor that Teyla and Kate want to get married and are considering having children. Half of the men on Atlantis are already lined up to impregnate either one of them. 

"There is no way in hell we're bringing that woman with us." Rodney steals the pickle off Sheppard's plate. 

"He almost killed Kate," Teyla hisses. "And he punishes himself not because it was wrong, but because he disappointed his God." 

"Don't you believe in all that forgive and forget New Age crap?" Rodney shoves another piece of bread into his mouth. "Besides, Cadman is a menace." Teyla continues to glare at him. "Did I say something funny?" 

Sheppard slaps Rodney on the back. "Nothing funny. Nothing at all." He clears his throat. If he's going to get his team back together, the first they need to do is like Kate. And since she reminds Sheppard of his spinster aunt, he decides to take the approach that she's family whether they like it or not and that they have to see her even during non-holidays. "Speaking of Kate, you should really invite her..."


End file.
